When will the hurt go away?

So its coming up to a couple of weeks without my baby boy being in the world. I cant handle being at my olds for to long. It not right being able to on the sofa (especially with food) and sit their peacefully, not breaking some off and giving it to him or having to get up and get a tissue to wipe his mouth (while im there make him blow his nose - yes he did that) cause of the drool. I cant look towards the hallway as I look to long waiting to see him prancing through towards as, dummy in his mouth proudly holding it, trying to entice us to chase him or laying near us and nudging it with his nose so it rolled in a circle as he stared at it with immense concentration, waiting to 'crawl' after it or paw it back to him if he we went to actually grab it. God, so many times I've nearly said, "Where's Chock?" to mum as we sit at the bench but anyways. I am crying now and I am at work and this will be the time someone comes over and I'm sitting here looking like a crying fool.

So yeah, anyways, its hard and I miss him so much and I cry every morning in the shower and I can't wait not to feel like this anymore and it's so much easier just to imagine he's still at home and everythings how it was but that lie can only lasts so long and is exposed whenever I go to my olds. I'm so glad I dont live there anymore - I couldnt handle it at all if I did. At least being away I am able to trick myself that little bit.

God, I miss him. How long till the hurt goes away??