3 posts in 1 day....

Third post for 13/9. Jens on a roll ...... no she's on a chair hahaha.. I know LAME!

Anyways, I did this blog on myspace:

Ok, I am a happy outgoing kinda girl. I prefere to see the glass as half full and try to see things optimistically. I try not to let things get me down but last night as I laid in bed before actually sleeping for quite awhile I realised something....

Whats the point in being happy, in being optimistic - in seeing the good in the bad. Honestly?

Lately heaps of crap has been thrown into my life. Not to me personally but to the people in my life. I have an Uncle with an brain aneurysm (who is operable and will be ok.... but still its a brain surgery....) a grandad who looks more frail everytime I see him, a Nanna with a never ending story of illness (yeh not keen on caring on that one, been going on for as long as I can remember but still it plagues your mind) Dad hasn't had the best run this year/end of last, My baby boy doesnt have long left - Marks boy recently got put down which made me freak about Chock going soon, Last year in October my best friend lost her dad and v.recently another bestie lost her own.... Mum lost an aunty last month and I always have the worry somethings up with Mums thing and they just dont tell me oh and one of my Auntys had breast cancer...

What a run hey? All this stuff builds up and last night as I thought about everything that had been going on - the bad really weighs out the good. The only good thing to have happened really is Rox having my little Chelsea girl. I thought when you're young you're meant to go to more weddings than funerals, people are meant to have babies not be sick....??

So again I ask... with all this death, sickness - how can I really keep being so positive and happy? I mean there is only so much a person can deal with and I been kinda ignoring it all in my bubble of naivity and it all just kinda hit me last night. I dont want to be a sad depressed moody bitch but with all that going on.... I cant help but want to cry and yell at the people who piss me off. I dont want to feel sorry for myself as I am not the one all this impacts directly but its hard cause these are the people who are my friends and family

So for the last time... whats the point of being happy, cause right around the corner something else is bound to pop up and slap you in the face and like me eventually that bubble of naivity will pop and you're not ready to face up to any of it for real.

I was having a really bad day/week/etc and 5 online shop browsing + 1 ebay purchase and after talking to my Mummy and my friends and stuff I have taken a nice deep breath and feel more calm and more my old self. It's to easy to sink in to some kind of depressed state, and there is a point to being happy. To all the positive, while I am still trying to focus on that the bad is nibbling away but I am getting back to my old self. Slowly but surely.

It's life you make of it what you want. "Love life and it'll love you" I am pretty lucky, while death and sickness happens so do lots of other good things and when you given a truckload of shit as in the myspace blog have a moment and then get on with it. Only thing to do really......