27.9.07

My Baby Boy...

Chocky
18th June 1995 - 22nd September 2007
More than just a dog - my baby boy.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My olds and I had gone on the hunt for a new dog (small, female) after the pasing of our girl, Bella a few months before. I had gone off in a sulk for whatever reason and went down one of the rows we hadnt been in yet. We had actually walked past it somehow but I ended up wandering down it. All the dogs barked and jumped around for attention and I ddint think anything was in the last cell but popped my head past to check. In the corner on one of those bed things curled up was the most cutest dog with sad eyes and big ears. His name was Chocky and after abit of "come here boy" he came over, his little tail "stumpy" wagging as he got closer. His wet nose came through the mesh and i let him lick my fingers. I knew this was my boy.


Once mum and dad came over, a little hesitant cause of his size and everything we were not meant to be looking for they agreed to 'meet him' and we waited in the yard as the lady struggled to bring the bouncing giant hyped up dog over. In an instant he was giving me kisses and cuddles and Mum and Dad both have their doubts on this gentle giant. They constantly warned me to keep my head away from his but i didnt listen. A week later after school on a Friday I went with Dad and a friend from school came along to, and we brought him home.


It sounds sappy and lame but from the first moment I saw him I knew he was my baby, he was a gentle giant who everyone couldnt help but love. Few were wary due to his size but he didnt have a bad bone in his body. Being a hunting dog he had lovely vocals and those who heard will agree he really could talk, I Love You - being his most used phrase, Stop It, Home and Mum (he always dobbed on me and dad when we played fight) He had lovely legs, big Bambi legs and when you were getting him excited he would dance around like a prancing pony, and it did hurt something rotten if he did get you with one of those giant paws.


He had the kindest gentlest nature out. Andrew my cousin, who was a premi-baby, had a blanket he carried everywhere with him. He called it his "lace". Chocky had his dummy aka a Kong ( red rubber indestrucable thing he went through 3 of due to loosing them) One day Andrew took his dummy and wouldnt give it back, and so CHock went into andys room and got his lace and as soon as andy saw that he offered chock is dummy back but wouldnt let it go. Chock being so gentle and with good manners wouldnt snatch it off him and the pair ended up having a game of chasey around the passage ways, until andy finally put down the kong, and then chock dropped the blanket and the pair quickly grabbed their favourite possessions. It was hilarious and I will never 4get that.


His fav place to sleep was in our bed, and I am glad of this as it was having to share my single bed with a giant like Chock that finally made my parents get me a double. He still took up all the room. He was human like than you could imagine. If he sneezed, i'd grab a tissue and he would manage to blow his nose - then proceed to try and eat the tissue. He was also a mischeif maker and my dog really did eat my homework. Well not so much ate he shredded. Lisa and I had spent the arvo getting things for our biology project and he then got hold of the leave samples and trashed them all.


He really was more my dog than anyones. It was only a few months we got him some family were over and my nanna after watching him follow me arond, sit when i did and watched me play - "round and round the garden like a chocky boy.. one step two step - tickle you under there" commented on the bond we had together. You'd just look at him and he knew what you were thinking and act accordingly. "round and round the garden" was also one of his favourite games and he would expose his belly for as long you would tickle him, stretching his arms out so you could tickle his underarms and he would howl and laugh - before you even got there as he knew what was comming and if you held off for to long the anticipation got to him and he'd get up and get you.


There are to many memories, to many moments, to many things he did - to put them all on here to tell everyone. You all knew him at some point and I hope you would all agree what a truely one of a kind dog he was. He will always be in my heart and thoughts and right now the hurt and loss of loosing him is unbearable. I know in time looking at his pic wont make me cry and I can talk of the memories and smile like I used to but not yet.

Not now.


I love you chock and I know you're with Bella - off to run around and play with all your friends who have left before you like Winston and Candy and you'll meet marks boy, Tahe and when its my turn to go up there you'll be waiting with your big goofy grin, that mischevious and playful glint in your eye and 'stumpy' going like crazy!

26.9.07

So Bored....

So I am buying the unit, but not just me as first intended. There have been talks between Mark and I on buying a house and so for now and for our own benefit we’ll get the unit together and wait a year or two – sell and build. I am hoping it will work out that the unit can still be kept and used as a rental but Mark seems anti rentals for what ever reason rolls eyes


Anyways, I have had a list of what I wanna do the place to fix it up a bit. New floors, new sofa, air-con, a couple of new power points and little things like that. Gonna take an extra $10,000 on the loan to use for fixing it up and then to leave in the bank so paying a bill wont make me broke for that pay cycle. Can’t wait to fix it up a bit I think just doing those things will make more liveable. Not that its bad now but its more personal and more to what I want – hehehe. Already started to re-do the main bedroom so that’s good J


Just gotta do my tax and then I can organise the mortgage and yeah.



Tis all happening…

19.9.07

Not the only one.

After talking to an old friend I am glad I am not the only one with thoughts of the future, of buying/building a house, engagement, life stuff etc. For a little while there I was thinking maybe it was just me, wanting more and getting way ahead of myself with future plans, hopes and wants.


But having someone express their own feelings in those aspects, which are similar to my own, made me think of my own again, still… what ever. Its not being demanding or unrealistic to want to buy or build a house in the next 2-3 years, and doing things now to ensure no matter how the market may go up and down it is still possible to do.


But yeah. Just a quick little thing before I go off to lunch.

13.9.07

3 posts in 1 day....

Third post for 13/9. Jens on a roll ...... no she's on a chair hahaha.. I know LAME!

Anyways, I did this blog on myspace:

Ok, I am a happy outgoing kinda girl. I prefere to see the glass as half full and try to see things optimistically. I try not to let things get me down but last night as I laid in bed before actually sleeping for quite awhile I realised something....


Whats the point in being happy, in being optimistic - in seeing the good in the bad. Honestly?


Lately heaps of crap has been thrown into my life. Not to me personally but to the people in my life. I have an Uncle with an brain aneurysm (who is operable and will be ok.... but still its a brain surgery....) a grandad who looks more frail everytime I see him, a Nanna with a never ending story of illness (yeh not keen on caring on that one, been going on for as long as I can remember but still it plagues your mind) Dad hasn't had the best run this year/end of last, My baby boy doesnt have long left - Marks boy recently got put down which made me freak about Chock going soon, Last year in October my best friend lost her dad and v.recently another bestie lost her own.... Mum lost an aunty last month and I always have the worry somethings up with Mums thing and they just dont tell me oh and one of my Auntys had breast cancer...


What a run hey? All this stuff builds up and last night as I thought about everything that had been going on - the bad really weighs out the good. The only good thing to have happened really is Rox having my little Chelsea girl. I thought when you're young you're meant to go to more weddings than funerals, people are meant to have babies not be sick....??


So again I ask... with all this death, sickness - how can I really keep being so positive and happy? I mean there is only so much a person can deal with and I been kinda ignoring it all in my bubble of naivity and it all just kinda hit me last night. I dont want to be a sad depressed moody bitch but with all that going on.... I cant help but want to cry and yell at the people who piss me off. I dont want to feel sorry for myself as I am not the one all this impacts directly but its hard cause these are the people who are my friends and family


So for the last time... whats the point of being happy, cause right around the corner something else is bound to pop up and slap you in the face and like me eventually that bubble of naivity will pop and you're not ready to face up to any of it for real.

I was having a really bad day/week/etc and 5 online shop browsing + 1 ebay purchase and after talking to my Mummy and my friends and stuff I have taken a nice deep breath and feel more calm and more my old self. It's to easy to sink in to some kind of depressed state, and there is a point to being happy. To all the positive, while I am still trying to focus on that the bad is nibbling away but I am getting back to my old self. Slowly but surely.

It's life you make of it what you want. "Love life and it'll love you" I am pretty lucky, while death and sickness happens so do lots of other good things and when you given a truckload of shit as in the myspace blog have a moment and then get on with it. Only thing to do really......

Hm...

Been thinking again. If I ever get hitched I found my ring. Believe it or not its under $1000 - nothing dodgy and I am going to go stare at it for hours on end on Saturday. Well for as long as it takes em to fix my camera and yeah. Either way maybe I'll layby it and then wear it on my index finger...

and we'll go out to dinner, have brunches, go shopping, laze by the pool, go on holidays together - my ring and me.

hahaha im so sad i know. But when I see things I want/like I go nuts over it until something x1000 better comes along or I get it and then it becomes one of my pretties that I take with me places, and decide if its special enough for exclusive outings or for everyday use.

*sigh* I love jewelry and fashion and and and and....... yeah. *sigh*

My new lover....

His name is Kenneth Jay Lane.

He was first a shoe designer for Delman and Christian Dior.

Many of the museum stores, The Smithsonian, The Museum of Natural History, and the Bush Presidential Library carry his line of jewelry.

He has been designing for over 40 years for royalty, first ladies, celebs such as Jackie Onassis, Elizabeth Taylor, Diana Vreeland, Audrey Hepburn, Duchess of Windsor and Barbara Bush

Has been described as "the hottest costume jewelry designer around" by Elle Magazine


Anyways I am so in love with his range, especially the white tiger bangle which I first spied on Miijo and am desperate to get hold of something he has designed. The man is a genius and whats out atm is actually quite affordable, its just a matter of shutting up my stupid conscience and clicking the buy now button!


But yeah.... its just all so beautiful *gushes*



I will own this one day!!!

6.9.07

Diamonds are forever...

Diamonds are forever,
They are all I need to please me,
They can stimulate and tease me,
They won't leave in the night,
I've no fear that they might desert me.


So for some reasons the last couple of nights I have been having odd dreams, different to the usual ones I remember. The main focus of these dreams have been diamonds. If not directly focusing on one of those sparkling rocks they are all over the place. My dreams have been pimped!


Diamonds are forever,
Hold one up and then caress it,
Touch it, stroke it and undress it,
I can see every part,
Nothing hides in the heart to hurt me

But yeah all I been thinking of now is diamonds.Diamonds in rings, diamonds in necklaces, diamonds so large and perfect and rare on display.... I have diamonds on the mind. And what is not love. Just look at one of those perfectly crafted stones. The way the light catches it, the sparkle of its beauty.... *sigh* I mean some ordinary looking rock thing which is also the hardest substance on earth created 20 million to even a billion years ago is really something so stunningly beautiful!

Diamonds are forever,
Sparkling round my little finger.
Unlike men, the diamonds linger;
Men are mere mortals who
Are not worth going to your grave for.

And yeah what more can you say about that magnificent jewel - thanks to some marketers back in the 1930-1940's stands for a symbol of love, devotion, (back in the old days when it being advertised more and more for engagment rings - the bigger the rock the more you were loved by your partner) and wealth. A diamond is something loved and treasured by all.... and as much as I used to let my eyes light up at the sight of one those sparkly treasures that really are forever, since my dreams I am almost obsessed. Definetly a case of look but not touch (or buy) hehehe....

Diamonds are forever, forever, forever.

Diamonds are forever, forever, forever.

Forever and ever.

Hello Lover!

5.9.07

So long renting...

... Hello home loan repayments!!


So its happened. I am going through the begining stages of setting up my first home loan to buy my apartment from my olds. Its finally come down to them losing the place they originally brought for my future as well my future is now the present and so on.


Just me, all mine - I am 20 and will be a home owner.


Despite Mark living with me he will not be joining my name on the deed/loan/etc. How the hell could we even consider doing that when the biggest thing I have got him to commit to is a holiday to Melbourne? Sure we technically have a join visa debit account with ANZ but he used it the day we got it so more on the technical side its my account he has a card to.


I was hoping he would grow up abit or at least put the dishes away when I asked not 3 days later when he feels like it and we could use the money from my olds from the unit and go into building/buying a house. But he isnt ready for the grownup world. I mean come on - he moved outta home what more do I want him to do? Um maybe start thinking and working towards a future while we have these chances available to us?!


So anyways, I am buying my apartment. It will be all mine and I could do with it what I want. I could sell in a couple of years, i could not. I wanna keep it as my first rental property and use the equity as a deposit later on say in 2-5 years to buy/build a house. With or without mark. If i waited for him nothing would happen. And this is what my parents intended.


Yay. I own my own property!! So insane!!! Well not yet.... but should by end of year!

3.9.07

Aren't these the cutest?

Not only are they the cutuest but also the expensivest.

But a girl can look cant she?!